If you can't beat them, join them!

So I've decided that one night, I'm gona go ask the skateboard boys to teach me how to do it. Maybe when I am bored, or maybe just when I need a study break (it's that time of year ya know...), or just whenever. I don't know when, but I'm gona do it.

I'm just gona walk outside of my lovely house at 1245 at night and go right over to those boys and say "umm, hi. Can you teach me how to skateboard and be cool like you guys?" And then of course, they will look at me like i'm a total crazy and be like "well you probly can't do it because you're a girl..." To which I will say, "pshhhhh. Yeah, and I'm shy. pahaha. Let's do it."

Actually I'm just kidding...but just about the conversation part. I'm really gona go outside and talk to them one night and become friends so that they will want to teach me how to skateboard. I think this could be a really valuable skill to have, ya know? I mean, what if my car breaks down? What if I get bored? What if I want to join the party of skateboarding down the street in the absolute middle of the night keeping the neighbors awake? (Obviously, this is a secret-not-so-secret-anymore desire of mine. No shame.) What if I just want to live alittle?

So yeah, I'm pretty excited. I'm alittle nervous, but mostly just excited! Brian told me to watch out which ones I hang with because he and jordan saw some 30 year olds who don't have jobs or lives or wives out there today. I told him "hello, candidate for a wife RIGHT HERE!" haha. jk. I told him those were not the guys I was gona talk to anyway. But look at him, lookin out for me (:

Jordan also looks out for me. His words of advice were "yeah, if you can't beat them, join them." So that's what I'm going to do!

6 months later, here ya go...

This summer my wonderful roommate/partner showed me this song. I pretended to like it, and then i went to take a shower and cried the whole time. Yeah, that's alittle depressing, I realize this. A few months after, a friend of mine told me I should listen to this song. I didn't remember what the name of the one was that had made me cry, so I figured ok, why not? So I looked it up and listened to it and I texted my friend back and told him that it was so sad. (He didn't seem to think so, but whatever haha.)

But anyway, as I listened to it for the 3rd time, I kinda fell in love with it... It still makes me sad because I know there's people who feel like this and sometimes even I feel like this. I know, I know, enough with the depressing stuff. But lucky for me/us, God does love us for us so that's really refreshing. Sometimes I work really hard to be this awesome great person, and it's pretty much all in vain, because when I do that, I'm trying to make myself look good, not God. Of course, this never works because I can't look good without God. I forget this. Quite often. I also seem to forget that God is the one who made me, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am made in His image even. So that's pretty flipin sweet.

I pray that I can remember that whenever I am the third wheel, the lame one, the loner, the one with bad grades, the shy/not-so-shy one, the plain-jane, the boring one, the unloved one, He still loves me for me. And that after the tears, the frustration, the unbelief, the doubting, and the fears, I have a smile on my face, because my Savior has redeemed me. And when God looks at me, He doesn't see all my yucky crap, He just sees His awesome Son, making me lovely.

So, yay God! (: