God, I trust You?

I feel like this is a sentence people throw around alot. Well, ok, I wrote a question, but you know what I mean. A good response to anyone going through a "tough time", if you're a believer, is to say "Just put your trust in the Lord..." As if to say that's going to solve all your problems...

Truth:It's not.

But before you start freaking out on me, hear me out. We are called to "trust in the Lord with all [our] hearts and lean not on [our] own understanding" but sometimes I just have to wonder: what does that even mean? I've been saying that I do that since I was like 5 or 7 or something crazy young like that. But I said it because that's what everyone says. Even now, I don't feel like I have a great grasp on what it looks like to just completely "let go and let God!" (yeah, sorry. I'm done with the cheesy cliches now.)

But let's be real. I would really really really like to say "alright God. I don't know what the heck you're doing, but shoot louise, I'm just gona trust you" and actually do it.

The truth is that I want to, I do...but I also have this little small issue with being in control. Of something. Of anything. So naturally, I try to play God and fool myself and others into thinking that I have everything under control, when indeed I do not. But it feels good to be in control. Because I can see myself. I already know MY plans. It's safer. It's comfortable. And that's how I like it...

And I mean, yeah, it's easier to not trust people because then you're less likely to get hurt. And everything is easy-schmeasy...til it's not anymore.

Truth: God is the only person worth trusting. His word never fails, and neither does His love. And whatever we go through, the things that He already has planned, are to bring us closer to Him and become more like His son Jesus. Granted, sometimes this process may hurt, or be uncomfortable, but I think in the end we'll see that it's worth it.

So, I don't know what's coming. And I don't know if I'll necessarily like it. But I do know that I'd rather put my trust in Someone who actually knows what He's doing, than in someone who fails everytime (me). So God, here ya go. I wana walk with you closely, and learn what it means to for real put my trust in You.